Saturday, August 16, 2008

in their shoes

i cannot even imagine what it feels like
the pain the suffocation the isolation
the constant reminder of your assummed inferiority simply because of your gender
i cannot imagine looking upon my own charred skin after attempting to burn myself due to the injustices have been done upon me and surviving that experience in order to suffer more injustice
human suffering is deafening, heart rendering, excruciatingly psychologically as well as physically painful.
i cannot imagine because i do not live in that world
i am so far away that i have lost all sense of reality
the disparities and gaps are choking me
my vain tears flood my cheeks but how will those tears help the numerous women that are killed, tortured, raped and murdered.
my vain tears and simply warm drops of nothingness that express my anguish momentarily only to go back to corporate america monday morning.
i cannot help but feel helpless in this.
when suffering exists. unsurmountable suffering exists. when i think of the amount of this suffering it overwhelms me and more vain tears return. but i must find another solution.
there must be a way to alleviate the suffering.
it is perhaps their eyes i remember the most,
their tears and my tears
how different they are even though the biologically her tears and my tears and her tears are made of the same components we exist in two completely different lives and two compeltely different worlds.
i have become lost in the consumeristic and materialistic universe. but i am not slain for writing a piece of poetry or for wanting to gain an education. my tears are half in vain and other half in frustration. vain in the fact that even though i am shedding tears what am i really doing about the situaiton and the other half in frustration because i know that individuals of my gender suffer every day. 50 women die everyday in childbirth complications in Afghanistan. That is 18,250 that are dieing just because they were not brought to the hospital in time. Many other women and children die of preventable illnesses due to lack of access to health care. Women that stand up for themselves and ask for education are mistreated and brutally abused. For the women that have attempted to burn themselves but have survived..i do not know what i would say to them. the fact that an indvidual could mistreat you to such an extent that you would go through the physical pain of bieng burnt alive but survive puts a whole new level of exquisite pain that these women are facing..in which the physical pains of the burn are subsidiary to the psychological pain and torture they are feeling.

i have always taken granted of everything. of my family..of my educaiton of my opportunities. but i too was born in nepal which in the larger scheme of things isnt all that far from Afghanisthan. In fact, Nepal has its own demons. I could have been born in a poorer households in the rural area where I could have been sold by my own parents in order to "earn money" but basically to sell my body to the Bombay sex industry. they say there is a large demand of nepali girls...sometimes i cant help but feel both guilty and uneasy in my very being when i see the faces of these girls and women. i see in them so much of what i see in me. a curiosity to learn to grow..be come someone that makes a difference in the world. except when you have been coaxed by a city man who promises to marry you but then sells you off to a brothel. what happens to those dreams.
my dreams are still intact as much as i profess that soemtiems my life feels like a mess. however, isnt it all relative anyways. if my body was invaded every second of every day what would happen to my dreams...in the same light..what about thier dreams..thier ambitions..
i cant help but feel that i do not deserve this life. i just dont think its fair that so much disparity exists where some people have so much and others have so little.

the disparities weigh down upon my body and i feel overtaken by them..but what bothers me most is perahps my inaction. my complete inaction. however. things must change.
i think i have wasted too much time pitying myself for past mistakes and misunderstandings. however in order to make tommroow better i cannot dwell on the past.
if the disparities really bother me to such an extent i must do something. i must make myself worthy of the world.
Here are the things that i need to work on in order to better serve the world.
1. Attitude
this is essential to me suceeding in making a postive impact. negativity has been a part of me for so long but i really need to re-evaluate and being more positive both about my life as well the solutions i want to implement in the world. I need the power of beleif in ymself. and i know its there. it is in the gut.
2. Strength
this is emotional, psychological and physical, in order to serve others i need to be in good health. i have found that my eating habits are less than ideal. and i prefer to sit on the couch for hours rather than engage in any physical activity this needs to change. i need to find ways to become physically active..even if this means i have to force myself. i need to develop a tougher skin. we meet all differnt types of people from different walks of life. if i let every person that i do not get along wiht bother me i will never go anywhere. if anything i will welcome poeple that i may not get along with as well becasue that symbolizes a situation where i can make a positive change in that relationship and see what i can provide.

3. patience. patience. patience. sometiems i see many people achieiving the dreams and aspirations that i wanted for ymself, but just because someone else has the same dreams as mine and is acheiving them does not mean i cannot acheive mine. my dreams are mine alone and it is my sole responsibility to make my own dreams come true. the road is never smooth to get what you really want. but if you want it bad enough it will come to you and if it doesnt, you will find a way for it come to you. be pateint withyourslef. changes are gradual. you need to give your body and mind time to adjust. however being consistent and disciplined is the key. we must be the change we wish to see in the world. so be the change! your calling is calling! you have no more time to waste. time is our greatest resource, use it wisely.

4. the more i look around in the world more i see the need for physicians to work in areas of underprivileged health care. my interest fundamentally lies in health. becoming a physican will give me agency which is intergral in making and implementing policy changes and procedures. the doctor dream has been there for a while now. but i wont deny that i got lost for awhile in a pool of doubt and resentment..yet i wonder..did i ever see ymself as anyone else..everything i wasnt to do is realted to phsycians work
wanting to work in a clinical setting, interacting closely with the pateint while being able to delegate what medical procedure will be best for itehr health. planning and implmeneting public health programs. the only thing that stands between me and medschool is the mcats. and this time around i am ready. i have taken time off..thought this through..and the more i work..the more i realize that becoming a physician is the right path me. i never said it would be easy simple or short. i am still trying to figure out how i will get there but get there for sure.
5. all i want from life is that i leave this world having made a positive impact on an individuals life. i want to leave a legacy of love and compassion behind. i want to build a clinic where community health workers will be extesnively active. i want to build a clinic that not only provides the clinical services but also provides emotional, and psycholigical needs. i want to create a social support system for individuals. i want to eradicate infectious diseases from the world..and althoguh the idea of it mind sound silly its true. infectious diseases spread and manifest in very specific conditions. i want to make changes in policy that relate to health to be more inclusive to consider living status. i do not ever want to look at health, employment, property and education as independenment entities. in stead i want to see all of these as overlapping and if that is the foundation, a missing link can be devastating and i want to link this missing link to disease. that is when diseases occur. diseases will always occur. but studying diseae from a social aspect may help us understand the social issues we need to address.
6. i want my friends and family to be happy. if i could take up all the sorrow in the world and die because of it...i would die many times in order to rid the world of sorrow. if me being in pain would releive the pain and distress of another..i would bear the pain.
i want to serve the world. make this world a better place. spread access
because afterall everyone in the world should have
1. access to health care
2. access to clean food and water
3. clean place to stay
4. opportuntiies for employment
5. the right to be treated with respect and diginity regardless of gender, sexual preference or other factors..

Sunday, July 20, 2008

HIV and Women

This past weekend I attended an HIV outreach event. I eagerly approached the PG plaza mall in order to find members of a particular nonprofit in order to raise HIV awareness. The afternoon began with an array of intruiging incidents. First, we had set up a booth as we were not allowed to solicit people directly in the mall. On the table where we sat there consisted of two brochures. One in reference to women and the other in reference to men. The brochure refering to women said, "A call to women of color" and within the brochure only black women were targeted. In the male brochure it seemed to include both Latio and Black men. I bring this up for various reasons.

1. HIV is a growing and devastating the black population yet this cannot be regarded isolated from other incidents
2. a brochure that targets mainly black individuals may in some ways be helpful but in other ways assumes that black men and women engage in more risky behavior.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

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* by Anup Shah
* This Page Last Updated Tuesday, March 04, 2008

* This page: http://www.globalissues.org/TradeRelated/Facts.asp.
* To print full details (expanded/alternative links, side notes, etc.) use the printer-friendly version:
o http://www.globalissues.org/TradeRelated/Facts.asp?p=1

Poverty Facts and Stats

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  1. Half the world — nearly three billion people — live on less than two dollars a day.Source 1

  2. More than 80 percent of the world’s population lives in countries where income differentials are widening.Source 2

  3. The poorest 40 percent of the world’s population accounts for 5 percent of global income. The richest 20 percent accounts for three-quarters of world income.Source 3

  4. According to UNICEF, 26,500-30,000 children die each day due to poverty. And they “die quietly in some of the poorest villages on earth, far removed from the scrutiny and the conscience of the world. Being meek and weak in life makes these dying multitudes even more invisible in death.”Source 4

  5. Around 27-28 percent of all children in developing countries are estimated to be underweight or stunted. The two regions that account for the bulk of the deficit are South Asia and sub-Saharan Africa.

    If current trends continue, the Millennium Development Goals target of halving the proportion of underweight children will be missed by 30 million children, largely because of slow progress in Southern Asia and sub-Saharan Africa.Source 5

  6. Based on enrolment data, about 72 million children of primary school age in the developing world were not in school in 2005; 57 per cent of them were girls. And these are regarded as optimisitic numbers.Source 6

  7. Nearly a billion people entered the 21st century unable to read a book or sign their names.Source 7

  8. Less than one per cent of what the world spent every year on weapons was needed to put every child into school by the year 2000 and yet it didn’t happen.Source 8

  9. Infectious diseases continue to blight the lives of the poor across the world. An estimated 40 million people are living with HIV/AIDS, with 3 million deaths in 2004. Every year there are 350–500 million cases of malaria, with 1 million fatalities: Africa accounts for 90 percent of malarial deaths and African children account for over 80 percent of malaria victims worldwide.Source 9

  10. Water problems affect half of humanity:

    • Some 1.1 billion people in developing countries have inadequate access to water, and 2.6 billion lack basic sanitation.
    • Almost two in three people lacking access to clean water survive on less than $2 a day, with one in three living on less than $1 a day.
    • More than 660 million people without sanitation live on less than $2 a day, and more than 385 million on less than $1 a day.
    • Access to piped water into the household averages about 85% for the wealthiest 20% of the population, compared with 25% for the poorest 20%.
    • 1.8 billion people who have access to a water source within 1 kilometre, but not in their house or yard, consume around 20 litres per day. In the United Kingdom the average person uses more than 50 litres of water a day flushing toilets (where average daily water usage is about 150 liters a day. The highest average water use in the world is in the US, at 600 liters day.)
    • Some 1.8 million child deaths each year as a result of diarrhoea
    • The loss of 443 million school days each year from water-related illness.
    • Close to half of all people in developing countries suffering at any given time from a health problem caused by water and sanitation deficits.
    • Millions of women spending several hours a day collecting water.
    • To these human costs can be added the massive economic waste associated with the water and sanitation deficit.… The costs associated with health spending, productivity losses and labour diversions … are greatest in some of the poorest countries. Sub-Saharan Africa loses about 5% of GDP, or some $28.4 billion annually, a figure that exceeds total aid flows and debt relief to the region in 2003.Source 10
  11. Number of children in the world
    2.2 billion
    Number in poverty
    1 billion (every second child)
    Shelter, safe water and health

    For the 1.9 billion children from the developing world, there are:

    • 640 million without adequate shelter (1 in 3)
    • 400 million with no access to safe water (1 in 5)
    • 270 million with no access to health services (1 in 7)
    Children out of education worldwide
    121 million
    Survival for children

    Worldwide,

    • 10.6 million died in 2003 before they reached the age of 5 (same as children population in France, Germany, Greece and Italy)
    • 1.4 million die each year from lack of access to safe drinking water and adequate sanitation
    Health of children

    Worldwide,

    • 2.2 million children die each year because they are not immunized
    • 15 million children orphaned due to HIV/AIDS (similar to the total children population in Germany or United Kingdom)

    Source 11

  12. Rural areas account for three in every four people living on less than US$1 a day and a similar share of the world population suffering from malnutrition. However, urbanization is not synonymous with human progress. Urban slum growth is outpacing urban growth by a wide margin.Source 12

  13. Approximately half the world’s population now live in cities and towns. In 2005, one out of three urban dwellers (approximately 1 billion people) was living in slum conditions.Source 13

  14. In developing countries some 2.5 billion people are forced to rely on biomass—fuelwood, charcoal and animal dung—to meet their energy needs for cooking. In sub-Saharan Africa, over 80 percent of the population depends on traditional biomass for cooking, as do over half of the populations of India and China.Source 14

  15. Indoor air pollution resulting from the use of solid fuels [by poorer segments of society] is a major killer. It claims the lives of 1.5 million people each year, more than half of them below the age of five: that is 4000 deaths a day. To put this number in context, it exceeds total deaths from malaria and rivals the number of deaths from tuberculosis.Source 15

  16. In the developing world, the national share of consumption for the poorest fifth of people was just 3.9% in 2004.Source 16

  17. 1.6 billion people — a quarter of humanity — live without electricity:

    Breaking that down further:

    Number of people living without electricity
    RegionMillions without electricity
    South Asia706
    Sub-Saharan Africa547
    East Asia224
    Other101

    Source 17

  18. The GDP (Gross Domestic Product) of the 41 Heavily Indebted Poor Countries (567 million people) is less than the wealth of the world’s 7 richest people combined.Source 18

  19. World gross domestic product (world population approximately 6.5 billion) in 2006 was $48.2 trillion in 2006.

    • The world’s wealthiest countries (approximately 1 billion people) accounted for $36.6 trillion dollars (76%).
    • The world’s billionaires — just 497 people (approximately 0.000008% of the world’s population) — were worth $3.5 trillion (over 7% of world GDP).
    • Low income countries (2.4 billion people) accounted for just $1.6 trillion of GDP (3.3%)
    • Middle income countries (3 billion people) made up the rest of GDP at just over $10 trillion (20.7%).Source 19
  20. The world’s low income countries (2.4 billion people) account for just 2.4% of world exportsSource 20

  21. The total wealth of the top 8.3 million people around the world “rose 8.2 percent to $30.8 trillion in 2004, giving them control of nearly a quarter of the world’s financial assets.”

    In other words, about 0.13% of the world’s population controlled 25% of the world’s financial assets in 2004.Source 21

  22. For every $1 in aid a developing country receives, over $25 is spent on debt repayment.Source 22

  23. 51 percent of the world’s 100 hundred wealthiest bodies are corporations.Source 23

  24. The wealthiest nation on Earth has the widest gap between rich and poor of any industrialized nation.Source 24

  25. The poorer the country, the more likely it is that debt repayments are being extracted directly from people who neither contracted the loans nor received any of the money.Source 25

  26. 20% of the population in the developed nations, consume 86% of the world’s goods.Source 26

  27. In 1960, the 20% of the world’s people in the richest countries had 30 times the income of the poorest 20% — in 1997, 74 times as much.Source 27

  28. An analysis of long-term trends shows the distance between the richest and poorest countries was about:

    • 3 to 1 in 1820
    • 11 to 1 in 1913
    • 35 to 1 in 1950
    • 44 to 1 in 1973
    • 72 to 1 in 1992Source 28
  29. “Approximately 790 million people in the developing world are still chronically undernourished, almost two-thirds of whom reside in Asia and the Pacific.”Source 29

  30. For economic growth and almost all of the other indicators, the last 20 years [of the current form of globalization, from 1980 - 2000] have shown a very clear decline in progress as compared with the previous two decades [1960 - 1980]. For each indicator, countries were divided into five roughly equal groups, according to what level the countries had achieved by the start of the period (1960 or 1980). Among the findings:

    • Growth: The fall in economic growth rates was most pronounced and across the board for all groups or countries.
    • Life Expectancy: Progress in life expectancy was also reduced for 4 out of the 5 groups of countries, with the exception of the highest group (life expectancy 69-76 years).
    • Infant and Child Mortality: Progress in reducing infant mortality was also considerably slower during the period of globalization (1980-1998) than over the previous two decades.
    • Education and literacy: Progress in education also slowed during the period of globalization.Source 30
  31. A mere 12 percent of the world’s population uses 85 percent of its water, and these 12 percent do not live in the Third World.Source 31

  32. Consider the global priorities in spending in 1998

    Global Priority$U.S. Billions
    Cosmetics in the United States8
    Ice cream in Europe11
    Perfumes in Europe and the United States12
    Pet foods in Europe and the United States17
    Business entertainment in Japan35
    Cigarettes in Europe50
    Alcoholic drinks in Europe105
    Narcotics drugs in the world400
    Military spending in the world780

    And compare that to what was estimated as additional costs to achieve universal access to basic social services in all developing countries:

    Global Priority$U.S. Billions
    Basic education for all6
    Water and sanitation for all9
    Reproductive health for all women12
    Basic health and nutrition13

    Source 32

Notes and Sources

  1. This figure is based on purchasing power parity (PPP), which basically suggests that prices of goods in countries tend to equate under floating exchange rates and therefore people would be able to purchase the same quantity of goods in any country for a given sum of money. That is, the notion that a dollar should buy the same amount in all countries. Hence if a poor person in a poor country living on a dollar a day moved to the U.S. with no changes to their income, they would still be living on a dollar a day. In addition, see the following:

    The 2007 Human Development Report (HDR) from the United Nations Development Program notes that, “There are still around 1 billion people living at the margins of survival on less than US$1 a day, with 2.6 billion—40 percent of the world’s population—living on less than US$2 a day.” (See page 25. The report also notes that the alleviation is limited mostly to parts of Asia.)

    For much of the 1990s and early 2000s, it was understood that roughly half of humanity had been living on about $2 a day.

    So, on initial read of the UN HDR report, this implies a reduction in recent years from half of humanity to 40 percent. However, the reduction may not be as much as previously thought. The previous link is to a Bretton Woods Project article noting that, “Preliminary recalculations of global economic output excluding differences in domestic prices and currencies, released by the World Bank in mid-December [2007], may undermine the much-trumpeted claims that globalisation has reduced the number of people living in extreme poverty.”)

    Also note that the use of $1 a day (and $2 a day) as poverty income measurements from the World Bank have been questioned and criticized as understating the level of poverty:

    • The World Bank has been criticized for almost arbitrarily coming up with a definition of a poverty line to mean one dollar per day.
    • In addition, as also stated in the previous link, in the United States for example, the poverty threshold for a family of four has been estimated to be around eleven dollars per day. The one dollar a day definition then misses out much of humanity to understand the impacts. Even the two dollars per day that I have pointed out here, while affecting half of humanity, also misses out the numbers under three or four, or eleven dollars per day. These statistics are harder to find, and as I come across them, I will post them here!
    • As an aside, Morgan Spurlock, the Oscar nominee for his documentary Super Size Me where he went 30 days on a diet of burgers only to see the effects, produced another documentary where for 30 days he tried to live on the minimum wage of $5.15 per hour. At times he was earning $50 to $70 a day and yet the tremendous hardships he faced was incredible (including a ludicrous $40 for a bandage in a hospital, and some $500 for just being seen to).
    • More fundamental than that though, for example, is a critique from Columbia University, called How not to count the poor PDF formatted document. The report describes 3 main errors as being:
      1. An ill-defined poverty line;
      2. A misleading and inaccurate measure of purchasing power equivalence; and
      3. Incorrect extrapolation of limited data giving the false impression of precision while masking the high probably error of the estimates.
      These errors are feared to lead to “a large understatement of the extent of global income poverty and to an incorrect inference that it has declined.” (Emphasis added). This allows the World Bank to insist that the world is indeed “on the right track” in terms of poverty reduction strategy, attributing this “success” to the design and implementation of “good” or “better policies”.

    Nonetheless, the statistic has not been lost on some of the most prominent people in the world:

    • The New York Times in one of their email updates, in their Quote of the Day section, for July 18, 2001 provided the following quote: “A world where some live in comfort and plenty, while half of the human race lives on less than $2 a day, is neither just, nor stable.” — President Bush
    • See also James Wolfenson, The Other Crisis, World Bank, October 1998 who said: “Today, across the world, 1.3 billion people live on less than one dollar a day; 3 billion live on under two dollars a day; 1.3 billion have no access to clean water; 3 billion have no access to sanitation; 2 billion have no access to electricity.” (See also note 21 below.)
    • Koffi Anan, UN Secretary General, in a speech on the International Day for the Eradication of Poverty, 17 October 2000, said “Almost half the world’s population lives on less than two dollars a day, yet even this statistic fails to capture the humiliation, powerlessness and brutal hardship that is the daily lot of the world’s poor.”

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  2. 2007 Human Development Report (HDR), United Nations Development Program, November 27, 2007, p.25.

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  3. Ibid

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  4. See Today, over 26,500 children died around the world from this web site. (Note that the statistic cited uses children as those under the age of five. If it was say 6, or 7, the numbers would be even higher.)

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  5. See the following:
    • 2007 Human Development Report (HDR), United Nations Development Program, November 27, 2007, p.25. (The report also notes that although India is rising economically, “the bad news is that this has not been translated into accelerated progress in cutting under-nutrition. One-half of all rural children [in India] are underweight for their age—roughly the same proportion as in 1992.”)
    • Millennium Development Goals Report 2007 PDF formatted document

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  6. Millennium Development Goals Report 2007 PDF formatted document. The report importantly notes that “As high as this number seems, surveys show that it underestimates the actual number of children who, though enrolled, are not attending school. Moreover, neither enrolment nor attendance figures reflect children who do not attend school regularly. To make matters worse, official data are not usually available from countries in conflict or post-conflict situations. If data from these countries were reflected in global estimates, the enrolment picture would be even less optimistic.”

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  7. The State of the World’s Children, 1999, UNICEF

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  8. State of the World, Issue 287 - Feb 1997, New Internationalist

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  9. 2007 Human Development Report (HDR), United Nations Development Program, November 27, 2007, p.25.

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  10. 2006 United Nations Human Development Report, pp.6, 7, 35

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  11. State of the World’s Children, 2005, UNICEF

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  12. 2007 Human Development Report (HDR), United Nations Development Program, November 27, 2007, p.25.

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  13. Millennium Development Goals Report 2007 PDF formatted document

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  14. Ibid, p.45

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  15. Ibid, p.45

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  16. Millennium Development Goals Report 2007 PDF formatted document

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  17. Ibid, p.44

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  18. See the following:

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  19. See the following:

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  20. Trade Data, World Bank Data & Statistics, accessed March 3, 2008

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  21. Eileen Alt Powell, Some 600,000 join millionaire ranks in 2004, Associate Press, June 9, 2005

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  22. Based on World Bank data (accessed March 3, 2008) as follows:

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  23. See the following:

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  24. The Corporate Planet, Corporate Watch, 1997

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  25. Debt - The facts, Issue 312 - May 1999, New Internationalist

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  26. 1998 Human Development Report, United Nations Development Programme

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  27. 1999 Human Development Report, United Nations Development Programme

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  28. Ibid

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  29. World Resources Institute Pilot Analysis of Global Ecosystems, February 2001, (in the Food Feed and Fiber section). Note, that despite the food production rate being better than population growth rate, there is still so much hunger around the world.

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  30. The Scorecard on Globalization 1980-2000: Twenty Years of Diminished Progress, by Mark Weisbrot, Dean Baker, Egor Kraev and Judy Chen, Center for Economic Policy and Research, August 2001.

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  31. Maude Barlow, Water as Commodity - The Wrong Prescription, The Institute for Food and Development Policy, Backgrounder, Summer 2001, Vol. 7, No. 3

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  32. Consumerism, Volunteer Now! (undated)

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Alternatives for broken links

Sometimes links to other sites may break beyond my control. Where I can, I try to provide alternative links to backups or reposted versions here.

Why is it important to understand and study infectious diseases?

1. many of them kill rampantly even in cases where diseases are easily preventable
2. diseases are critical to understanding societies: the way they manifest, the way they impact our bodies, our minds, our society
3. diseases in many contexts also highlight our societal and physiological weaknesses, insecurities and vulnerabilities
4. the philosophical and metaphoric nature of disease is insurmountable
Sometimes we often realize the devastating emotional, physiological and psychological impact of diseases on our bodies. Most people perceive diseases be be ailments of the body and although this is true we ought to look deeper.
the truth is that disease fits into the larger context of social problems
As I perceive it here are the problem areas:
1. structural inequalities
- in health
- in education
- in housing
- in employment opportunities
2. the allocation of resources
- the few rich of the world use up most of the resources
3. access
- fundamentally the first two points touch on access
- what ends up happening is that some people are never able to even get to the ladder to climb it.
4. the fixation with the top down approach
- obviously it really has not worked well
- yes, policies are important to change but they are more likely to change if more people in the ground level and aware and want these issues changes
- more community organizing needs to be done including community based participatory research so we arent just going into places and assuming thier needs
-community organizing allows us to undertstand the needs and the desires of communities first hand.
5. human nature, desire and capitalism
- it is so easy to get caught up in our own lives
when we do it ourselves it seems so harmless, but if everyone only looks out for themselves then we will all be worse off(i think, even though i know econ people would disagree with this)
- there is much less trust, respect.
- we are conditioned to compete, fight, and conditioned to be driven, even if this means we leave some people behind.
but this survival of the fittest idea is scary
-we may be black white yellow brown but what most people forget is that we are human first. human always.
and if survival of the fittest...and profit..are the only things that drive us..we as mankind will not be surviving.
all people in the world deserve
1. health
2. shelter
3. food
4. love and support
its maslows hierachy of needs.
wut is so odd is that the happiest people i have known have very little and it is the ones who own a lot are unhappy.

project idea 2

problem: more black men in prison than in college
why:
- structural inequalities
- lack of employment opportunities
- prison industrial complex
- alienating and isolating inviduals
-blacklisting
solution:
- mentors for young black men
- programs in prison to positively involve black men
- programs that will allow young black men to transition into life

in continuation of dreams

SAVE THE WORLD: PROJECT 1
TOPICS
1. Teenage Pregnancy: US
- 750K women get pregnant every year
Problem: not enough resources for women
- lack of support system
- lack of help with child care
- lack of networking
Solution
- instead of isolating and alienating teenage mothers provide means by which we can help them
---provide child care for teenage mothers
---provide a support system where teenage mothers can provide support
---provide tutors and mentors for women
---involve teenage fathers- it cannot be one sided
---teenagers need love support and kindness- if we are there to support them, they will not have to compromise school, their lives, thier happiness.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

will my dreams stand the test of time. that is the question is it non?

so here i am unemployed. i prefer to call myself a recent graduate because that word in itself sounds less threatening less final. but how long can i desperately cling to this title of the 'recent graduate' how long can i reap the benefit of attending college which now seems to be deep in oblivion. and as a 'recent graduate' the prospect of saving the world seems like a concept which continues to drift away from me. i prefer sitting in esoteric classrooms in the ivory tower discussing the plight of mankind and the social injustices in the world. the social injustices. the hatred the failing of humanity. then one day u wake up and it dawns to you. that was almost liek a figment of my imagination. a glimpse from the past. somehwere far away. a place i can barely reach. as i sit here in my much comfortable suburban home i cannot help but feel mad myself for pretending to understand suffering so acutely when i myself was very far from it. evne having spent my childhood years in nepal i was far from it. whilr my biggest issue in life is attempting to fidn a job. how am i contributing to alleviate suffering in the world? what am i doing right now except feeling self pity for myself for the lack of a job. how have i taken my education and benefited neone else. in the real world, do we forget about hte suffering? i am already missing my student days when i could ponder suffering for hours. but just becasue u can feel the angst and pain of suffering does not mean u are doing anything abotu it. and wut is the point in talking about it if nothing is being done. but here i am like so many recent grads. many of them like me do want to make this world a better place. but we get sucked into the capitalistic society we live in today...

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

..

the distinct voices which all begin to sound like one
the aching feeling
the loss of things that did not happen
the silence in a world full of laughter
the hopes
the heart break
the things which were not said
i wish there was a way i could understand all that is going on
a way to make sense of the injustices in the world
a way by which we could understand comprehend everything
what is the purpose of my life
i wonder and struggle with everyday
is failure a sign of progress
a sign that i should not be doing what i have been doing
what are the answers
what are the answers which we all seek
what are the answers
i wish tehre was a how to live life for dummies book
or some place and time where everything becoems clear
but as i get older and older
things continue to become more complicated
so complicated that i feel utterly suffocated and entrapped
when will things be ok
or is this inerhently the sign of privelege when things are ok
and the privelege of education is one which weighs heavily
but from all those science classes what do we really learn about being human
about supporting being there for each other
in this materialistic world i struggle to find meaning
i want to find a purpose a meaning
a clear purpose
yet every time i try
i fail
time and time again
failure is inhnretly rooted in fate
and if that is so what is my purpsoe in life
what is it about be that makes me fail over and over again
as tears well up in my eyes
i hold them back
i try to keep them in
try to hold them
but somehow i cant stop my stomach from crawling
what is it about me about this place
i cant breathe
the walls are caving in on me
the walls of civilization
of education
of analzying decosntrscting
when all of this really get us
when do the doors or opportunity open
and will the world really cahnge
will the injustices of the world be righted
what are the answers
why do i grapple with forces which are out of my control
there is so much ugliness in the world that i am overcome and overwhelmed
what can we as people do
when most of world does not want to do
does not want to serve
how do we save ourselves from this all consuming materliasitc work
where are we going
what is grounding us
i dont know
i wish i had the answers but i do not
i wis there was a way i could see into my future
a way in which everything would work out
all i want to do is contribute in a positive way to the world
what is there for me to do
everywhere i turn i face failure time and time again
i am tired of failing
of never being good enough
i am tired of numbers and grades defining me
i do not the answers
i want to go back home
i want to be with people i recognize
i want to go back to eating familiar foods
i do not want to be here any longer
i do not want to be suffocated with this work like a dog attitude
patience pateince '
maybe i will just put my faith in god
have faith in the world
the world which kills
which rapes
the world where people are dehumanized brtulaized
when i made this blog i labeled it save the world with the purpose that maybe we could
but in so many ways im begging for the world to save me
save my soul
from consumerism
from destruction
from materialism
i wish there were a book of answers
i am lost
i do not know what i want
i do not know what i am suppose to be
i do not know who i am.
perhaps this is a quarter life crisis, a rant of privelenged life. or just a plain confusion
confusoin of a world which is self destructing destruction all around
over and over again..

Monday, January 7, 2008

answers

perhaps it is ok to not have the answers
ok to be lost in wilderness
because it is perhaps in these lost moments we find ourselves
we find what we have been constantly looking and searching for
but maybe that is our problem.
that we are constantly searching and looking.
for what and why I do not know?
searching for the answers as if those answers would be the end all be all..
when answers only lead to more questions and more confusion
sometimes i sit back and reminince.
there are always two sides to every story
two ways of perceiving events
the largely optimistic realm where everythingWILL be alright no matter what
and the depper more fearful realm of what if it does not.
when i studied maslows hierachy of needs i did not udnerstnad the depth of his analysis until i have felt those needs in prioritziation
perhaps the desire for esteem..social relaitons..those higher needs in his pyramid are so far more complicated than the basic needs of food and shelter that one can find oneself quite confused complicated in the realm of questions
insecurities
all of us have them
some of them keep us awake at night at 3 in hte morning while ohter seep into life rather unexpectedly. but i cant help but wonder..how many of us are really lviing..living the way...to fuly enjoy every breath of every moment of every day.
all these ideas are so fun and comforting to preach. to tell anotehr person..yet this living..why are we not able to enjoy it. why are nights spend in anguish worry and pain.
if everything is in the end inconsequential why do we worry so much.
what is the root of worry
is it the fundamental disbeleif in ourslevles..is it the fundamental disbeleif in others. is it jsut the way human beignare..
never satisfied..physiclly emotionally. philisophically. in the end of the day. are we not all born with a purpose.
we are by product of a specific egg and sperm chosen. there are so eggs and sperm that could that united. but we were chosen. there must have been some determination in this act. soemtiems i feel a caling to somehwre..yet i do not know how to follow that calling. do not know how to pursue the deep desire inside of ne constantly pursuing me and pushing me to do better. i know i can. i know it is in my power to. yet i too get overwhelmed by myself. setting up such high expectations for oneself can at times be largely suffocating and tiring when u can never meet your own perception of who you should be and who you think u should be. i knwo i lose track. and get so caught up with life..with something so inconsequential to me..yet i do want to reach beyond this. oh a world wihtout desier. if i didnt constantly want more. if my heart didnt ache so sometimes. if love was nonexisitent. if relationships were not improtant. butthe turth is that fundamentally i do not want those things. if i wanted them i could have them. but i have deliberately chosen not to have them. yet i still remorse in pain for not having them. which makes no utter sense when it is clear that i have no desire for such wastes of time. sometimes..i do not even understand why people get in relationships..well here comes the pessimistic side of me. the chances of actually ending up with the one you are dating is quite slim..i do not see why people waste so much time ingetting so hurt. if i were to do it over again i would have never loved ratehr than loved and lost. but grass is always greener on the other side. and perhaps i am also being a tiny bit dramatic. but you need guts and patience to love someone. both of which are transient in my life.
come to me
i am waiting
lead the way
and i will follow
i hear your calling
but i do not know from where
i want to come
i want to be there
its the urgency
its the anguish
sometims it the loss and the confusion
but it is fear too
of overreaching
of conseqeuences
conseuqences of things that havfe not happened.
so much time goes into preventing unintentional conseuwences sometiems i wonder if i spend most of my time fighting thnigs that have not happened and so inadverstantly shit happens. its confusing. all of it. some people seem to be so good at figuring out life. i on the other hand am clueless. cannot begin to comprehend what is gonig on. i am unable to objectively and rationally crtique myself which is perhpas my greatest flaw.
yet flaws are what make us human...